Give a Gift of a Hug

Hugging does something that virtually nothing else does in one gesture. It talks completely on loving care and acceptance - without ever needing to use words. It radiates a warmth that will fill both the hugger and the hugged with a positive feeling of true connection. Often the positive effects of a therapy session or even a friendly chat or listening session with a friend can be magnified by a simple hug. It's quite magical, really.

People value a hug so much. You hear ‘He (or she) is a great hugger" just as much as you hear that they are a great kisser - and with good reason. With a hug, you are telling the other person that you like them and that you accept them; this helps them to like and accept themselves - the basis of all healing. It does wonders for a person's self-esteem to be hugged. A hug is your gift to give today - and the best thing about it is - it's free. Anyone can hug - you just need to care.

A good hug helps you breathe more easily - we're not talking of squeezing someone in a great bear hug here; it's just that hugging stimulates your breathing in a happy, contented sort of sigh. It tricks your nervous system into relaxing your rib-cage more than it would usually and you can consequently breathe more deeply. That deep cleansing breath encourages your brain to release all those happy hormones and a chain reaction of contentment is set off around your body.

Most of us Brits aren't really good at close personal contact and it's a shame. We're missing out on a lot. Hugging is a really good way of connecting with another person and of showing them affection and appreciation. Those are positive ways to really enhance your health and your life and those of the people that you hug. The time for holding back is gone. Look into the eyes of the people you care about - would they like a hug? Probably! You could always ask them, you know!

So how do you give a good hug? Take it slowly, that's how. Give the other person eye contact and smile at them. They will smile back and already begin to feel a warmth and contentment. You will tell from this moment of deep connection whether they are ready to be hugged; if they are, go ahead; if not, oh well, don't feel rejected, a simple pat on the arm will open the door. They may be too closed off for a hug now, but you will have let them know you care - and next time, they just might want that hug.

There is no bluffing with a hug, which is why it has such a healing effect. The person being hugged will know if you mean it - so mean it! Be ‘there' for the other person and convey your energy and positive feeling into the hug. Think of how it feels to hug and be hugged - and enjoy it. Savour the gentle moment and don't turn it into a wrestling match.

On drawing away when you can sense you both want the hug to end, do it slowly, again making eye contact and smiling. Don't jump back in embarrassment like a scalded cat! You want to leave the other person with positive feelings of caring acceptance. The benefits of hugging should be felt in the hugger as well as the hugged. Get on their level - if you're taller, bend your knees; if you're hugging a child - kneel down. Hugging is a mutual thing - a meeting of hearts and souls as it is the touching of bodies.